I don’t know what it is about me and stories but somehow when I go through a season, I can usually go back to a time in my life that is the perfect analogy of what I’m going through.
I honestly hope you read my stories and think “Oh my gosh Rita, YES, that’s exactly what I feel like” instead of “my God Rita not another story” lol. But this one has been looping in mind so I decided to tell it.
Let’s go back in time to 1991 when I was in Drill Team in High School.
(Go Liberty Belles!)
I loved Drill Team and all the awesome friends I had there but let’s face it, I was not good. I was OK. Mediocre at best and I could hold my own, but I was definitely not one of the High Kick Girls. Like. At. All. I think that’s always been my thing. I can get by but I’ve never been one of the greats, and for the better part of my life, I’ve been okay with that.
Sorry, I side tracked. So back to Drill Team. We used to have this coach Ms. Martinez, who was strict as hell. Her favorite saying of all time was “When you pop your corners I better see snot fly!!” Wow talk about ladylike haha! It basically meant when we turned a corner we had to pivot with our toe and our head went with it. BUT FAST!
Well one summer we went to Drill Team Camp at SMU and learned routines we would perform at the football games later that year. If we did well we would get ribbons, which of course I never received. But something happened that summer.
I got tired of it.
I got tired of working hard and not getting recognized. I got tired of not being one of the awesome High Kick Girls. I think I just got tired of being OK with “just being OK”. So that summer I took the routine I liked best and I practiced. I’m talking on a whole other level!
I remember taking a cardboard box and laying it flat on the ground outside with my boom box (yeah, I’m 44!) and I played that song over and over. I practiced so much my knees were bruised and I downed Advil like it was going out of style but I learned that routine!!
The week or so before school started back up, our team would meet in the morning to practice what we learned at SMU that summer. Needless to say, we all sucked because the rest of summer happened and we forgot everything we learned. ALL EXCEPT ONE!
When that music came on I owned it! I knew that dang routine like the back of my hand and there was no stopping me. More than half the girls stopped dancing all together and most of the “high-kick” girls (that’s not really what we called them but they were just that awesome), had to look at me to follow along. It was the weirdest thing in the world!! I was literally in the Twilight Zone. I was never one to be looked at and followed. I was the follower for goodness sake! But not that day.
I’ll never forget when the song was over and I had a rush of girls hug me and cheer me on. THEN MY COACH CAME UP TO ME…she looked at me and smiled and said “Rita I’ve been waiting for that to come out of you all year”.
It was the coolest and most awesome feeling!
So here’s the deal. Some days I struggle. Some days I don’t. Some days I question the doubt I make up in my head. But then I remember stories like this and think…I couldn’t even do a split and I was freaking awesome!!
I don’t know if my story radiates with anyone of you who read it or if it’s for my own benefit. BUT if you read it and listen to me for whatever reason, I hope my story inspires hope. I also hope it stays with me long enough to make me ask the question “do I struggle because I’m really not good enough, or do I struggle because I just haven’t shown the world the girl that’s inside yet?” Also, let me just clarify that my “struggle” is merely the womanly-white-noise-hormonal- emotional struggle we go through. You know…our Season.
I’ll also say as a side note that I’m proud of where my business is at this current point. I’ve got great things planned but as with life, there are SO many factors that tend to keep that joy down. That’s when we get out our boom box, cardboard and Advil and we freaking OWN IT!